So Bean informs me that she is going on a detox diet. Of course, this makes me look back and reflect upon my life, and current diet. Without laughing, lets think about what I’ve eaten in the past 48 hours:
Tuesday, April 6th
Breakfast: bagel with cream cheese.
Lunch: turkey and cheese sandwich, stacys pita chips, laughing cow cheese, carrots.
Dinner: 2 strawberry margaritas, a gin and tonic, macaroni and cheese, a stella
Late night snack: probably a grilled cheese but to be honest, I don’t remember
Wednesday, April 7th
Breakfast: inexistant, overslept and wanted to kill myself. (see previous day)
Lunch: a panini from fresh & co with turkey and 2 types of cheeses
Dinner: a bottle of pinot noir, goat cheese salad, steak sandwich with cheese, some ridiculous drink containing lychee (whatever lychee is, it needs to be expunged from the universe…GROSS)
Thursday, April 8th
Breakfast: a blueberry eggo waffle
Mid-morning Snack: oatmeal
Lunch: KEITH!!! sorry, very excited about that. umm where was I. oh right, lunch: pb&j sandwich (pam beesley and JIM!!!) mk where was I. oh right, sour cream and onion chips, diet peach snapple (sans rum), carrots, laughing cow cheese
Dinner: TBD, but probably something greasy and fried and with….CHEESE
areeeee we noticing a trend? My diet consists of 4 main food groups:
1. grilled cheese, 2. macaroni and cheese, 3. grilled cheese, 4. nachos
I would bet any cardiologist would probably send me to Jenny Craig and write me a prescription to NY Sports Club. Thankfully, I don’t have a cardiologist. And Chas uses his so much that he doesn’t have time to share. Also probably a bad sign that my cholesterol mildly mirrors my father’s and will continue to do so until I, myself, go on a detox diet. Ugh, even the thought of that makes me want to buy a bag of Cheeseburger-flavored Doritos and have them physically inserted into my arteries.
Good luck beanster, I’m here for you when you decide to come back to the cheesy-filled dark side!
Haha, I think you mean cheeseburger-flavored Pringles… you know, the ones that were RECALLED for salmonella (along with “Taco Night” flavor. How that is a flavor is beyond me, unless it really tastes like ground beef, taco seasoning, cheese, sour cream, salsa, and guac all rolled into one).
whoa, enticing! however i was referring to cheeseburger flavored doritos, available here: http://www.doritos.com/ under the “more flavors” option. and yes, if you’re wondering, i’d like a lifetime’s supply.
Pingback: things i hate « orange chu glad this isn't your life
Pingback: chicken fried steak and purple drank « orange chu glad this isn't your life