my trials and tribulations at the Apple store.

Dear Steve Yobs:

If you are reading this*

(* to indicate that if you are in fact reading this I retract the entire following post because you will have then doubled my readership to a whopping 2 people – whattupppp cline – and in that case, you then have my full respect and amnesty regarding your choices in hiring retarded maroons)

please hire some competent genius bar employees. If you just want people moseying through the store wearing blue t-shirts and playing on their iPhones, why don’t you get an assembly line of mannequins and call it a day? If your goal is to have human beings breathing, speaking and interacting with customers, there is a plethora of homeless people on the corner of 71st and 3rd who would probably trade their current lifestyles for that of an Apple employee..at least long enough to trade their new iPhone on the black market for a pack of American Spirits. Your goal simply cannot be to provide the best and chuck the rest of customer service, as this is just not acceptable.

The mere designation of the term “genius bar” indicates a superior level of knowledge regarding (in the absolute least) all things Macintosh; am I wrong? …per usual: yes.

Now onto my problem, because, let’s face it that’s all we’re really here to talk about anyway. My baby (2 and a half year old MacBook) seems to have stopped responding to electricity (TAKE THAT Benjamin Franklin!) and so thinking it was the most common next step I brought it to the convenient Apple store on 59th and 5th. The first trip I took to the Apple store was to find out what the problem was. I made an appointment with the so-called Genius Bar and was told that I needed to buy an external hard drive and back everything on my computer up, and bring it back to have x y and z looked at and replaced. Being the obedient angel that I am, I purchased the hard drive, learned how to drag and drop the important folders, and went back to the Apple store the following day.

Expecting this process to take the prescribed 5 days, I patiently waited until I received a phone call Sunday morning indicating that my computer was ready to be picked up. I walked back down 3rd Avenue, stopped at Bloomies for some Forty Carrots coffee flavored fro yo (what up Boulder 05-06!) and proceeded to pick up my computer. Long story short, genius #2 tells me that everything genius #1 wrote on the sheet to fix was IGNORED except for the replacing of the keyboard. REALLY STEVE JOBS? I left you with my computer for 5 days and you REPLACE THE KEYBOARD?! Livid is an understatement.

However, on the bright side, I have quite a shiny new keyboard – aka something else to distract me from work….on top of Snood, snake, youtube, gchat, twitter, facebook, applying for new jobs, shopping online, deciding to DVR Gossip Girl or 24 and which to watch, planning my dad’s 80th birthday party, blogging and…oh yeah about everything else.

mk pz out for now kids!